Waiting is hard

Every blog I've read, every person who has adopted that I talked to, every adoption professional said that the waiting is the hardest part. I believed them but thought "It's not going to be THAT hard!" HA! Its already harder than I thought.

As you know, we went "live" a week and a half ago. Since then, Matt has received three calls. Every time he answered the phone with the obvious "Hello?" then proceeded to say "This is Matt speaking". And EVERY time, my heart skipped a beat. In my head I thought "Could this be it? Could this really be the call? We only went into the books a week ago. This can't be the call. But it might be. Someone MIGHT have chosen us already." (yes, ALL that went through my head in about one second!) Then he gets off the phone and proceeds to tell me that it was a call for something else (all three were from his doctor actually).

Now, we just got an email from one of the social workers at our agency and she told us about a specific situation and wanted to know if we wanted to be presented to this birth mother. It just scares and excites me to know that really, at ANY TIME, we could become parents.

When you're pregnant, you know approximately when you'll give birth. You know the month and usually down to the week. You can prepare. You can mentally have yourself ready and count down the days. When you are adopting, things aren't really as easy. Yes, we are "ready". We have all of the things we need to take care of a newborn. And we are emotionally ready since we've been ready to be parents for over 3 years now. Still, it's the unknown part that is scary. We don't know WHEN we'll get the call. We don't know if it will be an emergency placement or if it will be an expectant mother in her 6th month. Its just crazy. I can't explain it. Either you understand what I'm saying or you don't.

I'm just in awe that this could happen SOON (or not!). We could be parents in one week! It's a possibility and it is just VERY odd to think about it that way.

I'm so excited to start our family and so nervous at the same time. I'm sure everyone is that way and I'm not the weirdest person on earth to be sacred but it's totally new to me. I've never really been around newborns. I've never changed a diaper. I don't really know how to handle them (except the obvious basics). I don't know when they need to be fed or changed or rocked. I don't know what to do if they get sick. That's really the scariest part of all to me. HOW will I do this?

Ok. That's enough of my rambling. Again, I know I promised the nursery pics and I'm TRYING. I just really want it to be done before I post pics and there are more things to do. If I don't post anything here before the holidays then Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone!