When will it be our turn?

I'm having a bad day. I'm just ready to be a mother! When will it be our time?

Aaaaand....we're still waiting

We're now in our almost 4th full month of waiting to be matched. Most days I have no problem with it, but there are a few here and there where all I can think about is being matched. Who will we be matched with? What state will the baby be born in? What will the circumstances of the match be? Will it be an emergency placement or a match a few months before the due date? What sex will the baby be? All of these questions just come flying forward in my brain and I can't push them down. It usually happens out of the blue for a day, and then the next day I'm back to not really thinking about it.

I think the hardest thing for me right now is seeing so many of my friends, coworkers and family who are having children right now. EVERYONE I know is either pregnant or just had a baby. Its hard to get over that sometimes. It's hard to think about how we've been wanting and trying for a baby for almost 4 years now. I know there are millions of other people out there who are going (or have gone) through what I'm dealing with but it still hurts.

If you can't tell, I'm having a bad day today. I'm really just writing this to get some of my feelings out. I'm just ready to be a mom. It hurts so badly that I don't think I can take it anymore. I just want our time to be here!!